Thursday, April 28, 2011

Our First (and hopefully last) Boating Accident

There is groaning, some tears, a few expletives, a flash of pain, and then a sigh. It's done.

My shirt is on.

Now I sit and rest so I can gear up for the battle of pulling my pants on and doing the buttons with only one hand - one set of fingers. Try it - it sounds easier than it is.

Friday started out so great - I got Lasik on one eye (since the other sees 20/20 and my weak eye was getting exponentially weaker). I thought at that point that THAT was going to be the most uncomfortable point in the day.


On Friday night at approximately 7:20 PM the Wagners had their first boating injury which is quite notable since the boat has not been in the water yet. We were backing our boat into the storage shed and I thought it might be handy to know how far from the back wall the boat needs to go, so as Ted slowly backed the boat up (he knew we were almost there so thank heaven he was going so slow) I stuck my hand out to touch the platform knowing it needed to be about an arms width. As I went to move my elbow away from the wall my sleeve and elbow caught on a cinder block so I couldn't move it fast enough. As a result my left wrist twisted to the side on to the back of my arm.

I ran out of the storage shed and tried desperately not to freak the kids out. If I do say so myself I think I did okay. It didn't hurt that I had sunglasses on so they couldn't see how hard I was crying, and the storage shed provides a lot of corners to crouch down and sob.

Initially the instacare doc thought it was a bad sprain, but when he saw the x-rays we heard him say, "oh......get her a splint and some narcotics to take with her." Yeah, that's never a good sign. Both bones in my wrist are broken.

On Monday the surgeon saw me and said that it was surprisingly nondisplaced, and if I can keep it that way he won't have to do surgery. Otherwise it is pins and a plate on each of the bones. So, here I sit with a bright pink cast and my kids' names etched on my arm.

You wanna know the funny thing? As I was leaving the surgeon's office with no makeup on because of my eye surgery, a bright pink cast on my arm, and a 4-year-old bouncing off the walls, I got in the elevator and an older gentleman in there said, "you have a BEAUTIFUL daughter." I politely said, "Thank you." He then said, "She must get that from both her mom and dad." In a polite conversation tone (which I might add required some effort since my arm hurt so dang bad) I said, "yep - she's got some of her dad in her!" He then responded, "Well, yes, obviously. I just didn't want to say 'she must get it from her dad'."


So I responded, "Listen you crazy old man - do you not see that my eye has burst blood vessels? Do you see the neon pink cast on my arm? You really think you wanna start a fight with me???"

Okay, I didn't say that, but I thought it. What I really said was, "oh." And then I left.

The moral of the story is this: Just when you think you can't imagine anything more obnoxious than a neon pink cast you will get in an elevator with an old man and no information filter. That is the moral of this story.

And also that you don't have to be in the water to be hurt by a boat.

And also that getting dressed with one hand is really hard.

And lastly - typing with one hand takes FOREVER!


Jessie said...

Leslie! I hope it stops hurting and heals up soon! Only you could make a story like this so hilarious :)

1crazymom said...

No, Leslie. The moral of this story is that just when you think your sister couldn't possibly make you smile/laugh harder than you just were, she does. Albeit at her own expense. You must get this from both of your parents.... Possibly one more than the other.... Ok. Maybe just one. ;) Love you and hope you feel better soon. (And you can still style your hair with one hand better than I can with two!)

Dave said...

I hadn't even read to the end of the post and I thought "Les looks great!" Which is odd, as I'm not usually one to say such things.
It's fun to hear about other people's encounters with crazy old men - it helps us feel not so unusual. Thanks for giving us the unfiltered version!

6deans said...

I am so sorry Leslie. That really stinks. Love the pink cast though :)